that sinking feeling.

I have watched football, for about as long as I can remember. I love the game. Really like it. Like the strategy of it, love the machismo of it. Love everything about it. Well almost everything. Somethings I have a hard time intellectually compensating for. There is the college sports, and the myth of the student athlete. and then there is the almost Roman quality to the game. It being the very literal translation of our society throwing Christians to the Lions. Us watching young men sacrifice their bodies for our entertainment. Its kind of gross, yet I still willingly and eagerly anticipate it each week. I listen to sports talk radio for hours at a time hype up the game, participate in fantasy leagues where I place wagers on which individual player will perform well, and then spend hours of the day on weekend, not doing yard work or playing with my kids but watching tv. It is a down right sickness. I remember being a kid and watching both games on Sunday and then seeing the "Alcoa can't Wait" and the "American Airlines" ads that closed football coverage and being kind of sad about I had spent the last weekend day of the week doing nothing. But did that stop me for watching week after week. Did that stop me from talking to my friends in grade school about the games, did that stop me from obsessing about something to which I had no stake in, no. And here I am years later, still watching, still obsessing. But there are moments when I watch football, that make me think maybe what I am doing is wrong. Not just wrong for me by wasting a day but wrong for society and wrong for my soul. One of them game this Saturday. When I watched the Washington - Notre Dame game. I had watched the game on tape delay, and had avoided my cell phone and anyone who had any interest in the game, as my daughter who is three was having a rough time, and wanted the tv, so instead of provoking a scene with her, I just hit record and let it be. So anyhow the last play of the game played out like this on NBC, the national broadcaster of all Notre Dame Irish Football games.

What was shocking was how little attention was paid to the Washington player, who obviously got his bell rung, and who looked like he had just been killed.
The scene seemed a little different from the view from the stands.

But still dudes jumping around, happy our team won, dude might be dead or have severe brain damage our whatever, but atleast we get to go out and party tonight. Hurrah for our team. Kind of sickenning, but just like that sinking feeling of seeing the American Airlines jet, careen right signifying the end of another wasted Sunday, I'm not gonna change my ways, just feel guilty about it for abit, and then move on. There are next weeks game to think about.